Precursor to a Protagonist

The Precursor

For awhile I was writing my memoirs. Years begun and then ended. I have so many chapters in my life to the point I ask the question, “Where do I Begin?” It’s like an Oscar winning Andy Williams theme song.

I honestly, did not like this movie very much. Were there people who enjoyed this movie? I loved the song!

When Grace came into my life I was at a very abject time. Financially, everything was gone. I’d gone through bankruptcy and had nothing to bring to any table. It was an empty table.

I didn’t have friends. They all moved to another state, or out of the country, or moved on in life. Out of touch, and out of mind.

Even the geese are in a relationship. (This is a recent photo I took of Joshua at the park.)

“Hello darkness, my old friend.”

“I’ve come to talk to you again.”

(I just realized The Sounds of Silence by Paul Simon and sung by Simon and Garfunkel is possibly some of the greatest lyrics ever written.)

Life was waking, going to work, shopping for groceries, then going to work, then cooking and cleaning, and then sleeping. Repeat.

It was both mundane and redundant.

Do you ever stop and ask, “Why am I alive?” “What is my purpose?” “What am I living for?” “Should I even care?”

It was the perfect turning point for a protagonist in a novel. Mind you, I’m not writing this to promulgate a pity party of any sort. I mean, I was truly and genuinely sucking at life. It’s more a statement of fact. Hah… yep.

Chance Encounter

I had left this dating site that I’d met some interesting types. Dated a bit. I actually befriended some pretty cool women that I’m still friends with, and still keep open communication. But a best friend? A soul mate? A person you just want to hang with and enjoy her company? Not really.

I went from being a very outgoing extroverted introvert to simply an introverted introvert.

I still kept chatting every so often with old stalkers when I wrote fanfics. Love the stalkers. It means you impacted a life, ya know? Stalking takes effort and I appreciate a person who puts effort into things.

Love them fans!

I’m kind of joking. I actually met one of my dearest and oldest friends while writing fanfics over 10 years ago. She’s just very busy now and in another state, and so I don’t like to bother people.

Where was I?

I decided to delete that dating site and remove everything. I did. It was the end of 2017. I was through with dating and it all seemed pointless and dumb. I wanted to just be happily single, and enjoy my kids and grand-doggy, and that was life.

And then, despite me thinking I had deleted I got a message. It was a message in the eleventh hour. A woman who spoke broken English was asking me a question. She was just looking for a friend, and people weren’t being very nice because I realize, people can be assholes.

Really? I see (fake listening to everything you say)

I ended up chatting for an hour or so, joking and not caring because after that evening I’d never speak with her again. I seriously didn’t want to get to know her. I just wanted to be nice – fake nice – and let her be on her way.

It would seem she was going through a similar catharsis of life.

I shared my music site and blog and told her, “Enjoy reading my stuff and hope you have a good life.” Basically, I believe that’s how it went.

Eventually, we started chatting off the dating app (she found me through those sites). She had read and listened to just about everything. She really liked my creations and so it was nice. I don’t mind chatting with a “fan.” My ego loved it.


Grace is the kind of person who puts her whole self into every endeavor. It’s both irritating and amazing. I’ve never met a more stalwart person. She went off to Japan and learned Japanese when she was young because she wanted to work and live in Japan. She worked her way up from a regular employee to a manager and then director of an area. She did this with everything in her life.

She’s not a mechanic, but she does put in similar effort.
Photo by Chevanon Photography on

She had some hard times growing up. Was held at gunpoint in an elevator, and her family were tied up, separated, and held captive for hours by robbers. She still doesn’t sleep well because of that encounter. She had a really rough life.

She almost died after a severe concussion on a plane while flying from China (or possibly Europe – I forget) to Taiwan for business. By the time she went to a doctor they were amazed she was walking, talking and alive. And her employer at the time was upset she stopped working during the trip to seek medical help; and fired her with no pay. How dare she fall on the plane and get a concussion? Time is money, babe.

I’d like to punch that boss. She’s had a lot of mean bosses in her life. She had a lot of people treat her poorly and take advantage of her, but I wish… I would have been that one person who treated her well.

I was not. I was a jerk. But, she still talks to me.

And Now…

Through the years, my respect for her has grown tenfold and more. My love for her has also grown. She knows Cantonese (born in Hong Kong), Mandarin (it’s kind of mandatory as a Chinese person), Taiwanese (lives in Taiwan), Japanese (she learned when she was young), and English because she worked internationally in business.

She’s the year of the Rabbit and like the Energizer bunny she just keeps going. She’s a small and petite little woman too.

Grace is amazing. Amazing Grace. πŸ˜€

Fry queens!

This is the lead up because its her birthday tomorrow (actually today in Taiwan) and I owe her so much more than a simple post, art, or letters. Music and songs and everything of my heart. I made her a mix tape kind’a. First part are love songs, but the second part is her favorite singer and band. It’s a Playlist for her birthday: LINK.

I give these all to Grace for her birthday and I know she’s reading this right now and crying. It’s because she cries a lot and is an emotional type. I’m a cold ox, but that bunny is a sweetheart.

I’ll be posting a poem next and I’ll place my little illustration for her birthday then. I hope you all find your special grace these days ahead. Have a good day of seeking, searching, and finding what, and whom you love.

And… I love her

I love you Gracie! We’ll chat later. πŸ˜‰ ❀

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