There is this part of me that writes a novel and then throws it away. I don’t know why I do that. I just deleted over half of something I was writing because I realized I didn’t like it. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong. If something isn’t working, start over. I was about to write chapter 34 and just [delete] and now it’s only 9 chapters long (this was just a Hololive fanfiction piece, by the way). I threw it away. I realized it just didn’t… fit? Characters, to me, have to stay honest to themselves as a character. Also, a story has to move in a direction that is organic. That wasn’t happening, and so I threw it away.
Maybe a part of it could be my agoraphobia? I’m not sure. My fear to disappoint? My perfectionism? I’m not sure, but I’ve decided to stop being afraid and just put my books out there. I’ve had good reviews in the past and maybe I should believe the reviews. Here’s a song to put you in the mood:
And so, I’ve published my ChickLitLesbian romance/mystery novel, That Girl Band. An interesting fact about this book is I wrote three original lyrics that were only in this book for my girl band. Most recently, I published an erotic thriller, A Manipulation of the Senses: the Unexpected Pet. It’s a tome, at this point, at the same amount of words as Crime and Punishment (one of my favorite books). It questions morality, ethics, and by whose barometer of right and wrong do we follow? It starts out completely different than the last two thirds of the book, and what it becomes… is unexpected.
I also have my little YA novel series that I need to finish the next book, A Small Book of Whimsy. (I’m going to have a revised version soon with the needed Prologue and new cover). And then, my small book of poetry, One Small Glimpse. I am going to publish part two, which is better, Intermission Poetry in January (that’s my goal). My drawing might get better too.
I have several other novels and I’m going to work on editing and publishing on Kindle/Amazon, because why not. I put a lot of time with character development, dialogue, research, structure, outlines, development, and time – lots of time – and so, here they are for now. A group of writings that may or may not be that great.
My reasoning: I read a lot of poorly written and constructed books, and I also watch so many more poorly written shows and movies, and realized, I can at least do that. I can at least craft a story that has a beginning, ending, and lots of stuff in the middle. I can have plot holes (but I really try not to have plot holes).
Also, I’m not getting any younger. A fun montage. You don’t have to watch the whole thing, but it made me laugh because I’ve seen quite a few of these movies.
Enjoy your weekend.
Please have a great day of seeking, searching, and finding what you love.
Love you Gracie! 🙂 ❤ (be careful with those earthquakes)