And so the writer laid down her pen, quizzically wondering if it’s “lay” or “laid.” And what about “lying?” Yes, I do that sometimes.
I’ve sunk to mom jokes.
Anyways, guys, how’s it going? I’ve been writing on this blog for a little bit of time now (eight years?) and kind of go all over the place. I write a rantview or a review, I upload a song I enjoy listening to, I write poetry (have a published book here!), and talk about my life (TMI for most, I’m sure), and sometimes I’ll actually place something of worth, or get sidelined with current events and politics (ugh, what a yucky mire that is). I even used to place Bible commentary and small essays on Biblical things, back when I was a lay student of theology. (I honestly read the whole Bible from front to back for 30 straight years and taught Bible studies. Yes, one of those people.)
But today, I question everything. In fact, I question the fact I’m here. Why am I here? Typing to a keyboard. Hopeful of something to happen? I don’t know. Its not like I’m a deep person. Or, am I too deep? *winkwink* Am I really here? Are we in the Matrix? Are there robot overlords pushing buttons somewhere? (Hah, okay that sounds really dumb.)
I do think there is more to simply the here and now. Our presence has meaning because of too much intricacy and too much chaos. If we die, I believe there is more. There is more than the simple fact we are these sacks of decaying flesh. Its because of our minds. Why do we think the way we do? Why do writers and artists come up with otherworldly thoughts and things which surpass what we have in this here and now? Why do our dreams seem to go places we’ve never been?
Could it be there is a designer somewhere who has even bigger thoughts and creativity? Could it be we are behaving like the offspring of something further than our own reality? Yes, I believe there are other beings, and would never write off parallel universe theories or quantum physics equations that say there is more. (I’m trying to sound smart, but I don’t understand what I just wrote – well, I kind of do and I kind of don’t. I’m somewhat smart’ish.)
Could it be those ones outside of us are kind of assholes? Oooh, am I going there? If God is good why is there so much pain in the world? Good question. Wait yeah… that’s a good question. Why?
Because living in this world is really hard and it gets harder as our bodies decay and wither away and it all seems hopeless. Humans don’t get better physically. Even if you eat as healthy as possible, exercise every day, and make sure to be happy, you will eventually decay and die.
I have a job where I listen to elderly people, over and over and over again. They need this and they need that. They are rapidly decaying and looking for some relief of their pain and their suffering, and I have recently had an uptick in calls from young people – much too many – who have so much financial despair. I have had maybe a few that even sound like they have no idea of what else to do and hang up with this maudlin, “fuck it” attitude. They don’t know where to go. It’s so… depressing.
Young people considering suicide is at an all-time high.
This isn’t right. It seems so unjust. It seems too sad. The future is what we should be moving toward, not the past. There was no such thing as good old days, because we actually have it better today, believe it or not. We live in an age of technology with the fourth revolution. We should be making tons of advancement, and poverty should be mostly expunged. But no.
Children, our children, should be looking forward to a better world not a worse world! This makes me physically ill when I think of this. What kind of world are we leaving our kids?
Politicians are in no way the answer. Politicians should not even exist. Honestly. What do they do? Figure out how much more money to make and how they can milk those citizens and do nothing to better the world? Most every one of them have false promises (I think there are a few honorable ones, but they are very, very few). I look at our next election for President. What a shit-show with two major assholes running.
“Ooh, Trump’s going to save us… woo! He’s a billionaire and we’ll all be billionaires too… um… right?” *looks at bank acccount* “Ah fuck.” Yes, he’s done so much in four years.
Or, on the other side, “Once someone other than Trump is in office, all will be well. Woo, we are saved!” *looks at pocketbook* “Damn, still sucks.” Look at how they handled the primaries.
*mind is spinning like a loading screen*
Really? Are you winning son?
Am I too cynical?
Am I too honest?
I hate when people say to me, “I’m just telling it like it is,” and they really aren’t. They are promoting themselves and they think that is “telling it like it is.” That’s just you being an asshole.
Before you start telling others “like it is,” figure out what it is like for you. Have some introspection, and shut the fuck up.
Network is a really interesting movie. When I had first started my college journey I wanted to be a journalist because I was inspired by movies like this. I took classes. I studied. I was going to write fantastic articles that would spread truth and facts, but I was also a crazy Christian and it ruined any hope of me thinking justly. I was in that cultic bubble and the world was beautiful and good, as long as everyone thought my way, and then they wouldn’t burn in hell for eternity.
Now that I’m saved by reality, I realize reality is very disheartening. My bubble burst, but then who wants to live in a bubble anyway.
Sorry, I don’t mean to be too depressing for those of you happy few. And don’t get me wrong, happiness is a worthy goal. In reality, life with those you love and family is the best you’ll attain in this life. Others make you, and others can break you. (I know that sounded corny.)
By the way, everything I type is my opinion. It’s not the best opinion or the only opinion – its just an opinion.
Freedom of thought
…is probably one of the worthiest goals in life. We have to have the freedom to think and have minds that are not judged. Thought police was works of fiction, and yet we have so many thought police everywhere we turn now with social media. Did you just type that! Oh my god, cancel them! Off with their heads! Thought police written of by writers like George Orwell are here now. They’ve just slipped in quietly without us realizing.
We are all too different. And I’m going to type this and probably get flack for it, but even if someone has pedophilia and those thoughts and will never act on them, then they are merely their thoughts. Its a real mental illness, believe it or not. Plus, overwhelmingly those who hurt children are not pedophiles (this is statistically true); because pedophiles don’t want to hurt children, they want to be with children because at some point in their upbringing they were stilted. This is something simpleton minds do not understand. Those who hurt children are usually power hungry jerks who want to hurt something weaker. That’s called a rapist or murderer, a real sick asshole, not a pedophile for the most part. Pedophilia means your mind is still in a childlike state, and if its that way its a very sad way to be. Their mere existence makes people want to murder them. Now murder is not a good thing.
(Come at me please, Twitter police.)
(Photo by Musa Ortau00e7 on Pexels.com)
If someone thinks of murdering people and are psychopathic or sociopathic but never act on it, then its merely how they think. I mean, 38% of CEO’s have sociopathy, and most probably haven’t killed people… I think. But psychopathy and sociopathy are mental disorders.
Thoughts do no injury to another. Look at your own mind first. Stop being so fucking judgmental, as if you are so special.
Look at writers who write these horrid horror stories, or rape porn, or graphic and violent scripts, but they are simply writing them down. Get it? It’s a story.
Thoughts do no damage. They are thoughts and if you able to cast the first stone because of your perfection, Twitter lord, then you should do so. I’m sure there are others just like you, and then your dominion will be validated over the pithy “others.”
Judging is always about others and not self.
Judgment is the opposite of freedom.
And so, I leave you with this question: What should I write about next, guys?
Please have a worthy day of introspection, love, kindness, and searching for what makes your existence worthwhile.
Goodnight Gracie! ❤
the unlit cigarette 