Number 21 on the 30 Day Challenge is a question that strikes me the hardest.
21. What three lessons do you want your children to learn from you?
I’m a pretty horrible person. That’s not false humility, but fact. I’m the antagonist in my life’s novel. I was pretty decent around Chapter 5, but after Chapter 10 I started to move to the dark side.
Once the third part of the 1,200 page novel came around, like some Dostoevsky tome, I was pretty much the character you hope gets redeemed.
I’m still writing the novel, and so bear with me. The book’s not over yet.
Despite my unworthy character, there are some things about me that I hope my kids can learn.
1. Forgiveness that is real and keeps a soul from wilting into angry despair
I see this in the justice system. There are very few crimes that deserve prison time other than violent acts against another. Most would be better served with community service and letters of remorse to the victims of your crimes, and time spent in meditation and quality change for a person. There are so many chances for people to give back and volunteer in a community. So much could be accomplished with positive gain, rather than punitive loss.
For example, if you extort money from people, then you should work on paying it back. No person can accomplish anything of growth or purpose behind bars. It’s merely a punishment with no redemption in mind. That’s why I hate spanking too. It does nothing to help a child in the long run.
2. Kindness to a stranger, self and those you love
I need to work on this one. I have my moments of frustration and “what the fuck is wrong with you?” but that is usually because someone has done something horrible to another with no provocation. I don’t understand cruelty. Probably the worst thing in the world is unrelenting cruelty and unkindness.
There is always room for kindness in how you treat others. Sometimes you have to put your feet in another’s shoes and walk for a while with them.
And not only being kind to humans, but to our animal friends and nature. Be kind, please. I truly hope I invoked this in my kids.
3. Admit when you’re wrong and apologize
Another one I have never mastered, but I am very open to constantly working on this teaching for myself and kids.
If you did something wrong just admit it and apologize. It’s okay. The world will not collapse on you if you are truly sorry and grovel at another’s feet for something you did. Pride sucks and it doesn’t do you any favors.
This is also a great barometer for narcissists. They never apologize. Don’t be a narcissist. Haha
And that’s all for my list of three things I hope I impart on my children. I know I haven’t truly mastered being a good person, but I continue to strive toward this goal. I hope my kids learn they must continually learn, grow, and love truly and deeply. I think they have and I’m thankful for that.
Have a wonderful day of seeking and searching and finding what you need. 🙂
Love you Gracie! 🙂 ❤
the unlit cigarette 